Turnover blows. Here is how you can prevent the pain – forever:
- Hire incompetent people – no one else ever will. They will be yours to keep until the day they retire.
- Promote people beyond their abilities.
- Always eliminate training first in budget cuts. Training only enhances peoples’ self worth and sense of mobility.
- Describe your micro-management practices in “employee collaboration” terms.
- Work your people to death, and enforce “use it or lose it” vacation time. They will not have time to interview, or realize that their work/life balance sucks.
- Never give people performance reviews. Reviews present the risk of encouraging or discouraging marginal (or exceptional) performers, and can lead them to take action.
- Create an environment that embraces the teflon suit: make commitments on others behalf, but then encourage professionals of all ranks to side-step accountability when It hits the fan.
- Managers: after whipping your team into a performance frenzy, be sure to publicly take credit for all their good work. This ensures that they will not get a big head or reputation within the company, and keeps the keys to their success tightly deposited in your hip pocket.
- Praise in private, abuse in public. See #8 for the logic of this.
- Don’t press, don’t push, don’t punish, don’t encourage. Treat your employees like mushrooms – keep them in the closet, feed them a little crap now and then, and definitely keep them in the dark.
If you – a reflective, humble professional – have checked more than a box or two, consider dusting off your resume. Or looking for a way to start getting some independent feedback. This isn’t a “congratulations, you’ve won” list where the highest score wins.